I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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