Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize