walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found puke in my bra..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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