that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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