I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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