So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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