you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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