Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm fucking your sister right now.

(1-813): View more from Florida

You motherfucker

(813): View more from Florida

She's next.

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(813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup

Replies (152) Good night (65499) Bad night (3464)
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(607): View more from New York

whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?

(1-607): View more from New York

King Triton

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(607): whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to? (1-607) King Triton http://tfl.nu/vy7a

Replies (77) Good night (1186) Bad night (2742) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.

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(801): Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon. http://tfl.nu/ouiw

Replies (14) Good night (949) Bad night (5327) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.

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(678): I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you. http://tfl.nu/ocnt

Replies (1) Good night (1914) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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(814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp

Replies (3) Good night (1685) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for

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(540): Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for http://tfl.nu/c110

Replies (8) Good night (2078) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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(416): View more from Toronto

The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often

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(416): The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often http://tfl.nu/ivea

Replies (7) Good night (2111) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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(928): View more from Arizona

I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

(1-928): View more from Arizona

They dropped the charges?

(928): View more from Arizona

Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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(928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29

Replies (8) Good night (2781) Bad night (565)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

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(248): I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/xi8c

Replies (6) Good night (1197) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.

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(250): Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys. http://tfl.nu/97m7

Replies (3) Good night (1083) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS

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(785): WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS http://tfl.nu/bm5y

Replies (5) Good night (2101) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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(902): I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged. http://tfl.nu/u3dy

Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.

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(603): I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/omfe

Replies (13) Good night (983) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

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(506): my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend http://tfl.nu/ehpb

Replies (13) Good night (4414) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.

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(317): If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga. http://tfl.nu/uvum

Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (197)

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