How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize