so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let's paint friendship bongs
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Can I color on your dick again?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize