and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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