that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
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so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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