Cold hands, warm shart.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
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I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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