i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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