sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize