My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize