So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I sprained my soul last night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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