he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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