Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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