i may or may not be watching the land before time
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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