You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize