You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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