i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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