you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize