Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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