uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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