ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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