god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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