after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize