Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize