im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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