I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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