Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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