Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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