if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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