remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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