So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize