wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
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I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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