Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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