I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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