I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize