you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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