I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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