I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize