I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize