it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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