I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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