im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize