I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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