Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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